Danielle & Adam – a love story from New York
We had tons of friends in common, grew up 15 minutes away from each other, went to the same parties and shows, lived minutes from each other AGAIN as twenty somethings, but hadn't actually met until… OKCUPID.
We dated for a year and a half, then were engaged for almost two years. We liked having a longer engagement – it was lovely, and romantic and fun – but by the end we were like, ok let's get this show on the road!
"Adam is the sweetest, most generous, loving and kind man. He's adventurous, fun, hysterically funny and inspires me to be my best self in all the biggest and littlest ways. He's my partner- my rock. Just the most solidly good guy. He's also totally Clooney-ing: getting more and more handsome and charming everyday!"
"Danielle is my dream woman. She is always reminding me to appreciate the little things in life, to be present, and mindful of each passing moment. She is a witty, adorable, beautiful, savvy, intelligent, badass feminist woman who pushes and inspires me to be a better man. She's also a total goofball."
On Danielle's 30th birthday weekend, Adam planned an incredible day: a visit to Olana House, a ride in a WWI era biplane and a romantic walk along the Hudson River at Poets Walk Park. At sunset, in a gazebo, all alone in the woods, Adam proposed with Danielle's mother's ring. They both cried. Danielle was wearing hiking boots and a Robert Plant t-shirt.
Planning time was both stressful and not stressful. Since we had two years we got to space it out a bit and make some big decisions then not think about it again for a month or two. But it was hard, too! We didn't really know what we were doing most of the time, didn't have a wedding planner or coordinator, we both work full time and go to school, so it got overwhelming and weird a lot too. We had support from friends and a ton of help from Adam's mom and dad. They were super-hero incredible and helped us with a thousand, million things.
Our ceremony was really meaningful, heartfelt and personal. We took that part very seriously and worked very hard on all the parts. We had good friends marry us, play the music, read poems and prayers and we wrote our own vows. We wanted to have fun at the reception- the ska band, BBQ food and hysterically funny MCs (also our good friends) made that all clear – but we didn't want to overlook the sacred commitment and vows we made, and the reason we were celebrating in the first place!
Our wedding was beyond our wildest dreams. We kept ourselves sane during the insanity of the planning process by reminding ourselves that it's the marriage that's important- not necessarily the wedding. We could get married in a rainy dirty parking lot, it didn't really matter as long as we treat each other well, support each other, laugh and cry and love each other for the rest of our lives. That being said, it's a powerful, incredible, wonderful day. We look back with so much joy and happiness and warmth for everyone and everything that happened that day. Having everyone you love all together celebrating something as incredible as your new marriage? What a gift. And all the dancing! Wow, so much dancing.
Our advice to a couple planning their wedding?
Pick the 5-10 things that really matter to you and forget/delegate the rest! If you really care about the food or the music or the ceremony location — make those happen, 100%. Stick to your guns on those things. But then, if you don't care about the napkins, the bridesmaids dresses, the seating plan – let them go as best you can. It doesn't really matter and will all come out in the wash, anyway. It's seriously a magical day – revel in it!
ROCK STAR VENDORS:
Make up and hair – Artistry by Erin Rachel
Dress – BHLDN
Tailoring – Adnan's Custom Tailoring in Long Beach, NY. He also made my veil.
Shoes – DSW
Suit – Jcrew
Bridesmaids dresses – The Reformation
Rings: We had my engagement ring made from my own design, using my mother's stones. My wedding band is Adam's paternal grandmother's. Adam's ring is from someplace in Chinatown, engraved with an inside joke of ours.
Jewelry – Nettie Kent!
Band – The Scofflaws
Food – Hickory Smokehouse
Tents/tables – Big Top Tent Rentals
Ceremony Music – Adam and Judith Klein
Officiant – Anna Sale (from NPR's Death, Sex and Money podcast)